You run your own race

How many of you crazy running chicks have training buddies?

I have tried running on my own, and quite frankly, it's boring and I always talk myself into shortening my run when I am not out with my friends. Or I talk myself into running much slower, whereas when I'm with my training buddies, I remind myself I owe it to them to give my best and not slow down the group.

That being said, on race day, all bets are off.

Sure, it's cute and glorious to come into the finish line hand in hand, big smiles, and give each other a big huge sweaty endorphin fueled hug.

But unless you really are on pace, consistently, right down to the back stretch, with your running buddies, that probably won't happen.

And it's fine. It's GREAT. If your running buddy leaves you in the dust, it's fine. If you planned on having your running buddy to talk to but she's lagging, it's time to change your plans and run ahead.

Because you run your own race.

Not gonna lie, training for the Fargo Marathon has been hard for me. I'm not sure where I'm going wrong, but I'm not as fast as I was only one year ago. Where I should be gaining, I find myself staring at my Garmin wondering why it's miscalculating my superspeed. (It's not). I am fine for about 6 miles, then I fall just behind my training buddies for another 6 miles, and then I am pretty much on my own the rest of the way, watching them run ahead.

And at first, watching them improve while wondering why the heck I wasn't was really bothering me. I've been on pace with them for the last big races, what was happening to me? And at my lowest point, I even pouted on the inside and wondered why I was getting left behind. And although we are "big girls" and fortunately, are always supportive of each other and happy for each other, I had a little chip on my shoulder. I was pushing as hard as I could but as I would lag behind, my insecurities would catch up.

It's such a dumb thing, really. First of all, my training buddies do more speedwork during the week than I do. Second of all, they actually LOVE running more than I do. And third, I wasn't even listening to what I always tell others: we run our own race.

The day that I made peace with that was our first 20 miler of the training schedule. I couldn't run with Becky and Kathy, with whom I had been logging most of my base miles, but I got to run with Glenda-- and it was her very first ever 20 miler. And that day, rather than watch two of my training friends push ahead, I got to watch my other friend hit her milestone. Mentally, I felt so much better not worrying about myself.

I'll say that again, so we can all recognize it: I felt so much better not worrying about myself.

When I quit worrying about my lagging, and fully focused and appreciated being there with someone who was celebrating their longest run ever, I was finally able to make peace with my run and listen to my own self again.

Desi Davila was 30 meters off the lead pack at 15K. She finished in second place. If she would have forced herself to stay with the pack, she wouldn't have had the strong surge at the finish! Stay true to yourself and run your own race!

(p.s. my friend Heather had this photo on her Pinterest page and when I went to copy it today, the link went to another blog with this exact same topic! Great minds...?)

We run our own race.

There may be someone I am running for: a loved one gone, a loved one fighting for life, a loved one who survived so much. But they aren't running in my shoes. We run our own race.

There may be someone I am running with: someone I train with, someone I am friends with, but I want them to succeed and not be held back just keeping me company. We run our own race.

There may be someone I want to run like: someone who has BQd, someone who makes mile 20 look like cake, someone who run/walks but has done more races than I could dream of. But I am not them. I haven't trained like them, and I don't have the same heart or the same motivations as them. We run our own race.

There may be someone I am running against. Someone I feel competitive with. Someone whose time I want to beat, someone whose distance I want to beat, someone whose mental game I want to beat. But I don't know their story, their motivation, their pursuits. If I am focused on them, I am already losing the race. We run our own race.

By Mile 26, I don't want to be injured-- suffering mentally or physically because I am running for the wrong reason, pushing myself into someone else's pace or struggling to stay ahead of someone for all the wrong reasons. I want to finish strong, with a smile on my face, not beating myself up anymore than I already am on the pavement. I want to run my own race.

On that note-- it's not just Mile 26. Or Mile 1. Or Mile 5. It's everyday. Every hour. Every night before I go to sleep and every morning when I have to face the sunrise and the mirror and the little faces that need me.

I don't want to find myself in this great adventure called life, playing catch up or sprinting ahead too fast or competing with someone who is further along or struggling to stay ahead of someone just because. I want to be there, in the moment that requires my focus, putting one foot in front of another as best as I can, lifting up those along the way and slowing down for those who need a smile and encouragement. I want to do the best that I can without staring at my watch or counting off the miles in my head. I don't want to miss the smiling faces and the funny signs and the little kids with their hands outstretched for a high-five. I don't want to miss the Kodak moments. And I certainly don't want to fill myself with anxiety and stress and insecurities.

Whether you're running a 5K and someone is pushing you faster than you want to go, or running a marathon with a friend who wanted to finish with you but is falling behind, or just trying to make ends meet, day  to day, trying to be in 2 places at once for your kids, trying to read your boss's mind... remember that a real friend is happy for your successes, no matter where you are, and just go out and run your own race. When the pack is ahead of you and you're not sure if you should catch up with everyone else or just stay behind and stay true to yourself-- remember that you run your own race. When you see the elite racers pass you on their way to the finish, recognize how hard they have worked, and know that you will cross the same finish line, in your own time, in your own way. Run your own race.

Where ever the road takes you,

run your own race.

We are on the sidelines, we are behind you, we are ahead of you, waiting for your strong finish.

Run your own race.


~Jen