Mental

So, Becky is out of town. And Kathy has family visiting so she's not coming in the morning. And I haven't heard from Glenda yet.

I might be on my own tomorrow. For 20 miles. It won't just be physical tomorrow, it will be brutally mental.

Because running buddies help keep you from defeating yourself.

It's typical for us to bounce off of each other, pull each other through the rough spots and help keep each other going. Where as I will be dying at mile 10, someone else in the group will be hitting their endorphin high and help encourage me through it. Or when they are slowing down at mile 16, it's my turn to dial up the positive encouragement. Being able to push each other and pull when necessary and not let the others down really keeps you motivated. It's reassuring and comforting and encouraging to know you can ask for help and borrow some strength and motivation from your running gals.

"Not gonna lie, my legs feel so heavy and I don't know if I can make it up this hill."

"Okay, babe, we'll slow it down but you're doing so awesome! We're almost there! You've got it!"
....

"I'm exhausted and not feeling this run right now."

"What? Are you kidding me? That's probably because you've been flying these last few miles. We'll take it easy for mile 16 but we'll pick it up again at mile 17, m'kay?"
.....

"OMG, I F*ING HATE THESE HILLS!"

"Ha ha! Come on!"
......

"Holy cow, I can't believe how far we've come already this morning! This is awesome! We're like practically super human right now!"

"I know right? This is so awesome! I love the world! Oh look, deer!"*

.................
*excerpts from actual conversations. Runner's high.

Right now I am hoping and praying Glenda answers my Facebook message by dawn because it's not the dang 20 miles, it's all the solitude. It's the voice inside that says "Let's go home, this is hard." That voice usually doesn't get a chance to interrupt our conversations so I've never had to deal with the mental struggle alone.

Tomorrow it will be a battle of body over mind, willpower over weakness. Lonely road vs. podcasts and music (I'm loving http://www.rockmyrun.com/ right now!).

Some days are like that. It's not just running 20 miles alone. It's the days that the problems pile up. The days when everyone wants to take something from you and take your attention and take your time. Some days you find yourself surrounded by people who thrive on negative attention. Some days you can't seem to put your keys or phone in one dang spot so you can find it again. Some days everyone wants to tear you down and you can't get to your family and friends who love you enough to build you back up again.

Somedays it's not enough that you can run the distance. It's not enough that you are, in fact, stronger and more disciplined than the people around you. Some days, it's not enough to be physically prepared.

Somedays, you have to find a way to not let the world drag you down. Some days, you have to find a way to rise above it. Some days you have to find the inner strength, the inner peace to calm the storm around you and inside your own head. Sometimes you have to dig deep and answer to no one but yourself.

Sometimes, it's all about mental toughness.

Jen